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hey there everybody how we doing
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pathetic yeah you can do better than
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that I said how we doing
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today I knew you had it in you boy I
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tell you the spirit of the season has a
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hold of me like a bad rash that just
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I am here to deliver a festive and not
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at all inappropriate holiday themed tale
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that is guaranteed to Jingle your
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holiday Bells doesn't that make you feel
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cozy yeah who's ready for another
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festive tail straight from the public
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domain good good yeah I call these my
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specials six people get that joke that's
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great yeah I'm the MC with the mouth
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Hallmark is a it's fine okay so this
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story is All About the jolly old man in
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the red suit and it is brought to you by
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plus that's right everybody Disney plus
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paid to keep us around for the holiday
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season so make sure you check out all
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the quality content available only on
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yeah I wouldn't know how to react to
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that either it's weird now that the
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pandering is over this story is also
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known as TW the night a strange magical
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man shimmy down my tight little chimney
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or a very special holiday episode of two
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guys a girl and a pizza
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place some of you know find television I
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right that's not a real page there we go
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it was the night before Christmas and
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all through the safe house not a
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creature was stirring not even a mouse
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not Electra or blade or that guy named
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Gambit who said I'm about to make a name
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myself I could not understand
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it literally it was like he was talking
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with a mouthful of marbles the whole
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time the stockings and holsters were
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well hung by the chimney with care in
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hopes that old Santa pool soon would be
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there dogpool was nestled all snug in
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her bed visions of face licking danced
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in her head Wolverine wore his cowl he'd
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waited 20 years to wear it Peter pool
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just a crop top and the rest oh he bared
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it when out on the lawn there arose such
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a clatter they all leapt from their beds
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to see what was the matter away to the
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window they flew like a flash although
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we probably should have said Quicksilver
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issues they ripped open the shutters and
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tore down the sash oh which doesn't
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rhyme with Quicksilver now I know why we
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did it the Moonlight glistened off the
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soft fallen snow giving luster of midday
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to the objects below there man this is a
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dense poem it's very wordy I'm going to
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skip a bunch of the boring stuff uh oh
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and what to their wondering eyes should
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appear but a shiny red sleigh and eight
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awesome dop and deer there was a fast
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talking driver all red black and cool
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they knew in that moment it must be
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pool no you said the line before I got
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to it you ruined the whole
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fine my eyes how they twinkled my
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dimples how merry my my cheeks were like
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roses my nose like a cherry I had a
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fabulous red suit and a little round
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belly that jiggled when I laughed like a
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jelly I call it my Jugger
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gut also who keeps a bowl full of jelly
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in their home it's weird a terrible way
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to store that food anyway I spoke not a
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word which arguably is very hard for me
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and went straight to my work filling all
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stock fings like a merried old Merc and
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when I was done I laid a finger aside my
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nose and giving a nod up the chimney I
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Rose okay oh no it's not a practical
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stage I thought I could go in there okay
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big climax here and then I mounted my
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reindeer corn and gave a hearty Yeehaw
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and away I flew faster than you ever
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saw and all could hear me exclaim as I
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flew out of sight happy Christmas to all
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night thank you all so much for joining
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me for the story time with Deadpool
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holiday special remember if you're
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naughty this year I will personally
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break into your home and shove a fist
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full of coal right down your stocking
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happy holidays everybody
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oh also thank you Disney
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plus yeah I had to get that last one in
