As the day begin, Darth Tater thought it would be prudent to find some bats and continue to build his evil alliance. A logical first place to look seemed the jungle so Darth Tater quickly commandeered a boat from the world famous Jungle Cruise and set out in search for bats. This however proved to be a bat-less place…rhinos yes, hippos yes, chimpanzees yes, piranhas yes, bats no. So after posing with what he was sure was a tribute to the evil spirits of the jungle, Darth Tater moved on to find the bats.

As he wandered towards Main Street he came across a most curious sight…a bunch of people dancing around chairs! “What is this crazy ritual?” he pondered aloud. Suddenly the music stopped and everyone dove for the nearest chair. He was alarmed at how vicious they were to each other. “Maybe I can turn some of them to the dark side fairly easily” he chuckled.

As he continued to watch these people get more and more malicious he watched as a beautiful young girl walked up to him and spoke to him. Her voice was extremely comforting as he realized that she must be from the same place where many commanders of his ships had come from for they all spoke alike! He got a little nervous when she picked him up but as she lifted him to her ear he greeted her, “I’m Darth Tater, Lord of the Dark Side, protector of the Empire.”

“Ahh so you work for her majesty the queen? I’m Alice. Curious, you don’t look like a card. You look more like…well…like a baby!” she cooed. Her voice was subtle and sweet but the words she spoke confused Darth Tater. What queen could she be talking about? Could the Emperor have appointed a governor since his arrival? Could this Queen of Hearts this young girl spoke of be that governor? As he thought about these things the young girl began to cradle and coddle him.

The cradling brought Darth Tater out of his train of thought and he quickly snapped, “I am most certainly not a baby! I am Darth tater, Lord of the Dark Side, protector of the Empire! Such insolence will not be tolerated!” As he drew his light saber in defiance he was shocked that this Alice girl did not react with fear but instead held him up for everyone to see and said, “Isn’t he just adorable? I want him!” Adorable? What could she possibly mean! He was many things, evil, heinous, blood thirsty, but never in his life had Darth Tater been called adorable! He could feel the hate boiling inside of him!

“Oh, what have we here?” Alice asked as she opened his hatch! The ultimate insult! How could anyone dare do this to Darth Tater! He was furious and decided enough was enough. He would teach this young girl some manners. He did not care if she was related to one of his commanders, a lesson must be learned. He redrew his light saber and prepared to destroy this young cherub. “Is this for me?” he heard someone ask.

He felt himself being lifted away from Alice and onto the nearby piano. “I’m the Queen of Hearts, and you would be?” For the umpteenth time of the day, Darth Tater said, “I’m Darth Tater, Lord of the Dark Side, protector of the Empire.” He waited expectantly for her to bow in reverence to the second most powerful being in the Empire…but it never came. Instead the Queen of Hearts began to ramble off about some tea party, croquet, Alice, and who knows what else!

Darth Tater realized that he couldn’t take much more of this. He did not know if the Queen of Hearts worked for the Empire or not. Judging from the conversation, it was very possible that she did. She was definitely evil enough. He dispensed with the pleasantries and just walked away leaving a crazy bunch of people jabbering away. They didn’t even notice he had left he realized! As he walked away in frustration he looked up and immediately his frustrations of the day disappeared… He had found the bats and it was better than he could have ever hoped for!